There are times when the heartstrings tug for an explosion of words, and other times when they demand silence. Silence, which has the extraordinary ability to articulate louder than any spoken words ever could. And sometimes, silence remains the only means to cure the ailment. Just as there are seasons to everything, a season will come when conflict will arise, and sometimes the only way to overcome the conflict may be dependent on the ability to brace the tongue in the season.
In the Old Testament, there was a woman by the name of Hannah, who had been tormented for many years by her nemesis, her husband’s second wife Peninnah, for being unable to conceive children (1 Samuel 1:6–7). Hannah could have retaliated by using hostile words in this battle with Peninnah, but she knew that the battle which she fought was not one in which she could win with offensive words. So instead, Hannah chose her battle weapons wisely and opted for the weapons of silence, tears, and prayer to reach the Father’s heart in heaven.
1 Samuel 1:12–16 says, As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” Hannah replied, “Not so, my lord” … “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.
Needless to say, not only did her weapons of silence save her from an unnecessary battle, in the end, choosing to trust in God and not man, led to a favourable situation in which she had six children, one who remains known as one of the greatest prophets of all times (Samuel). Just like Hannah, regardless of who your nemesis is, there too will be times when your victory will be dependent on your choice of weapons – with the weapons of silence being the most effective, designed to reflect and rationalise before responding.
Similar to Hannah, another person in the Old Testament knew the power of choosing his battle weapons wisely, he understood the need for the weapon of silence, and this person was King Hezekiah. King Hezekiah had been requested to surrender by the powerful King of Assyria (King Sennacherib) who had invaded and captured many cities. When King Hezekiah rebelled against King Sennacherib, King Sennacherib sent his chief officer and his field commander with a large army, to threaten King Hezekiah into surrendering.
But when King Hezekiah and his people were tormented by the enemy, King Hezekiah did not retaliate with words or conventional weapons, instead, he commanded his people to remain silent and not to respond (2 Kings 18:36). Next, King Hezekiah went straight to the temple of the Lord to wage the war on the enemy, with weapons of prayer (2 Kings 19:16–19). Again, needless to say, not only did King Hezekiah survive the threat without raising a sword, the Lord caused the mysterious death of hundred and eighty-five thousand of the Assyrian soldiers in one night and caused King Sennacherib to fall by the sword of his sons while worshipping his god Nisrok (2 Kings 19: 35–37).
You do not always have to raise the sword in battle. There will be times to use words, and times to use silence and prayer. And when the sword seeks to destroy, annihilate, and humiliate, it may be appropriate to consider initiating the weapon of silence. Proverbs 26:4 says, “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.” And in the times of silence, prayer should arise, remembering that words are ineffective in an Ephesians 6:12 battle, for in an Ephesians 6:12 battle, your love will not be enough and your words will certainly not matter, and silence and prayer will remain the only unrivalled weapons for victory.
As such, in the season of conflict, the key to a successful relationship will be dependent on knowing when to pick your battles, i.e., when to fight with words and when to fight with silence and prayer. Whether you choose to use the weapon of words or silence, at the end of it all, heed Ephesians 4:26 which says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” By “do not sin”, it is implied that at any time during the argument, “do not let any unwholesome talk (words designed to hurt and maim) come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2018.
