Category: Love

MEMORIES: When The Suitcase explodes …

01.10.2018

Author katiem

When the suitcase is exploding with memories, it is easy to hoard, obsess and become haunted by the memories of an idealised past that was almost perfect. But for the suitcase that remains in the hallway; in the misty cloud of almost. Engulfed in the effulgent light of the wormhole passage, our memories become short-circuited, into a foggy distortion as to their true nature. It is within the distortion of the wormhole, that a memory gap and error is created, anent to the narrative for the suitcase in the hallway. In the fog and distortion of yesterday, a wormhole of dependency to travel back into our memories is constructed. In this wormhole, moving backward in time, we lose sight of the miracles arriving within our today.

Reversing through time within our thoughts, we move against the gravity of life and the clock, not realising that we are only stealing from our future. The events that led to the suitcase in the hallway occurred because they were not supposed to be in our story of today. As paraphrased, in 1 John 2:19, if they went from you, then they did not really belong to you. For if they had belonged to you, then they would have remained with you; but their going showed that they did not belong to you. Hoarding our past memories puts an injunction on the greater things that God has in store for us. The closing of the door leads us to that which we could never dream for ourselves. Isaiah 22:22 says “…When God opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when He closes doors, no one will be able to open them.” Simply put, if the door closes, God has a better door that He plans to open, one which we cannot even begin to fathom.

The paradigm of Sodom and Gomorrah, a city anchored in sin, whose inhabitants were bent on harming Lot, the nephew of Abraham, and his family, illustrates this idea of our distortion of the memories we hold within our suitcases. The city said to Lot, “Get out of our way … This fellow came here as a foreigner, and now he wants to play the judge! We’ll treat you worse than them.” And, bringing pressure upon Lot, “moved forward to break down his door” (Genesis 19:9). Yet, because of the clouded past recollections Lot had of a perfect town, he and his family remained loyal to it, even in the face of such a septic environment.

 

Our memories are not always as accurate as they seem in the misty cloud of the wormhole. Lot’s relationship with the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah was harmful and needed to be destroyed. God went as far as to send His angels to save Lot and his family from this toxic environment and relationship with the town, but despite being warned of the dangers of remaining within this poisonous environment, Lot and family did not want to leave. They were comfortable in this environment.

Genesis 19:16–17 says that they hesitated leaving to the point that the angels had to grab their hands and lead them safely out of the city saying, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!” However, even being dragged from Sodom and Gomorrah by angels, Lot and his family remained so blinded by their past memories that they could not even imagine living far from them. Thus Lot said to the angels, “Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it…” (Genesis 19:20). Lot held on so tight to his clouded memories of the past that he left the suitcase in the hallway, doing himself, his family and his future, no favours.

The commandment was simple, “Don’t look back!” Your future is not in your past. Your future is in your tomorrow. And your tomorrow is where God has promised that He has great plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11). When we cling to the past and look back, we lose sight of the great future God has for us and risk turning into a pillar of salt just as Lot’s wife did when she looked back (Genesis 19:26).

The problem is not about letting go of the memories in the suitcase, but rather, moving forward and creating new memories; moving the suitcase out of the hallway and in line with our future path. Don’t be held captive to your past. We must trust that God always has better in store for us, for His plans cannot be thwarted by anyone’s departure from our story.

©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2018.

EXPOSED: Who You Expose Your …

24.05.2018

Author katiem

Not everyone with whom we expose our hearts to is worthy. There is a throne on our hearts and for that reason, it is for our own good to be selective with whom we open up and bare our hearts. Because our warring is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), Some people are nefariously placed on our paths with the desideratum of luring and distracting us from pursuing our dreams and thereby derailing us from our destinies.

These people, colloquially, are analogous to spiritual prostitutes. Spiritual prostitutes whose only motive is to seduce, steal and destroy. Just like Delilah and the prostitute in Gaza, whose primary role was to seduce Samson in an attempt to destroy his destiny (Judges 16), these people appear in our lives to seduce us away from our dreams and sabotage our destinies. “The one who unites his soul with a prostitute becomes one with her…” (1 Corinthians 6:16). While this scripture refers to sexual encounters, metaphorically, it can be used to describe the union of souls in the baring of their souls to one other.

In order to seduce Samson from his destiny, Delilah played on his heart, nagging and taunting him saying, “how can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?” (Judges 16:15). Eventually, Samson let his guard down and exposed his heart and soul to her. And as he gave it all over to her, she lead him like a lamb to slaughter. Even the wise Book of Proverbs advises us to be weary of certain people with persuasive words who seek to seduce with their smooth talk in order to lead us astray. It says those who fall prey to the seduction will be “…like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:21–23). And so was the fate of the mighty Samson before God intervened one last time.

When there is greatness in our lives, the enemy will use any means necessary to distract and derail us from our destinies. With the exploitation of the spiritual prostitute, though we may not see it with the naked eye, once placed before the magnifying glass, their assignment to distract and derail manifests as broken hearts, depression, anxiety, or disorders. Once this manifests, our character and personality is altered such that we lose sight of who we are and do things that are far from who we know ourselves to be. When this happens, the enemy’s spell of distraction and derailment has command over us and our souls are in union with the enemy.

The enemy knows the power of the heart and if he can make the heart suffocate, he knows that it will be difficult for us to focus on God’s plans for us today and for our futures. Because in the throes of pain, it often feels as though the world is ending and the pain will never cease. It is for this reason that God saw it fit to emphasise that “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

Through the use of pain, the spiritual prostitute designs the plan to have us vacate Jesus from the throne of our hearts, thereby leaving it vacant and exposed to worry, despair and everything else that is not of God’s plan for our futures. Make no mistake, there is a throne on our hearts, but as to who seats on it, is entirely up to us, for Ephesians 3:17 says, “…Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.”

©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2018.

HEARTSTRINGS II: The War of Silence …

22.04.2018

Author katiem

There are times when the heartstrings tug for an explosion of words, and other times when they demand silence. Silence, which has the extraordinary ability to articulate louder than any spoken words ever could. And sometimes, silence remains the only means to cure the ailment. Just as there are seasons to everything, a season will come when conflict will arise, and sometimes the only way to overcome the conflict may be dependent on the ability to brace the tongue in the season.

In the Old Testament, there was a woman by the name of Hannah, who had been tormented for many years by her nemesis, her husband’s second wife Peninnah, for being unable to conceive children (1 Samuel 1:6–7). Hannah could have retaliated by using hostile words in this battle with Peninnah, but she knew that the battle which she fought was not one in which she could win with offensive words. So instead, Hannah chose her battle weapons wisely and opted for the weapons of silence, tears, and prayer to reach the Father’s heart in heaven.

1 Samuel 1:12–16 says, As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” Hannah replied, “Not so, my lord” … “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.

Needless to say, not only did her weapons of silence save her from an unnecessary battle, in the end, choosing to trust in God and not man, led to a favourable situation in which she had six children, one who remains known as one of the greatest prophets of all times (Samuel). Just like Hannah, regardless of who your nemesis is, there too will be times when your victory will be dependent on your choice of weapons – with the weapons of silence being the most effective, designed to reflect and rationalise before responding.

Similar to Hannah, another person in the Old Testament knew the power of choosing his battle weapons wisely, he understood the need for the weapon of silence, and this person was King Hezekiah. King Hezekiah had been requested to surrender by the powerful King of Assyria (King Sennacherib) who had invaded and captured many cities. When King Hezekiah rebelled against King Sennacherib, King Sennacherib sent his chief officer and his field commander with a large army, to threaten King Hezekiah into surrendering.

But when King Hezekiah and his people were tormented by the enemy, King Hezekiah did not retaliate with words or conventional weapons, instead, he commanded his people to remain silent and not to respond (2 Kings 18:36). Next, King Hezekiah went straight to the temple of the Lord to wage the war on the enemy, with weapons of prayer (2 Kings 19:16–19). Again, needless to say, not only did King Hezekiah survive the threat without raising a sword, the Lord caused the mysterious death of hundred and eighty-five thousand of the Assyrian soldiers in one night and caused King Sennacherib to fall by the sword of his sons while worshipping his god Nisrok (2 Kings 19: 35–37).

You do not always have to raise the sword in battle. There will be times to use words, and times to use silence and prayer. And when the sword seeks to destroy, annihilate, and humiliate, it may be appropriate to consider initiating the weapon of silence. Proverbs 26:4 says, “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.” And in the times of silence, prayer should arise, remembering that words are ineffective in an Ephesians 6:12 battle, for in an Ephesians 6:12 battle, your love will not be enough and your words will certainly not matter, and silence and prayer will remain the only unrivalled weapons for victory.

As such, in the season of conflict, the key to a successful relationship will be dependent on knowing when to pick your battles, i.e., when to fight with words and when to fight with silence and prayer. Whether you choose to use the weapon of words or silence, at the end of it all, heed Ephesians 4:26 which says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” By “do not sin”, it is implied that at any time during the argument, “do not let any unwholesome talk (words designed to hurt and maim) come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2018.

HEART STRINGS I: The war of words…

25.02.2018

Author katiem

The severed heartstrings, which once joined souls together, now lie detached and motionless with no more force to tie the two together. Choose your battles wisely, they say, for not every battle is worth fighting. As true as the saying is, on the other side of it is also the fact that if you are still fighting, then you are probably still loving.

Sometimes the danger is when there is no more fight left and no more words to say. Being designed innately different in our characteristics and personalities, it is inevitable that every now and again we would clash in our world point of views and personalities. When the emotions are invested, they tug at the heartstrings and demand a reaction – be it of love or of anger. And should the feelings of anger be aroused, this can culminate in a fight. Not a physical or abusive fight, but a fight in the quintessence of the soul’s strings, fighting to remain attached and fighting for the relationship.

When the strings are connected, and one still cares, you talk about it. But when the strings are severed, and the emotions become disengaged, the line of communication is broken. The day to be weary is the day when the emotions fail to tug the heartstrings. For when this day comes, the one with the severed strings, too tired to fight, will flee just as Jonah tried to flee from the Lord (Jonah 1). Jonah is a man in the Old Testament who once was passionate to see the destruction of Nineveh.

As displaced as his passion was, when he cared for this unrighteous outcome, he talked and argued with God about this (Jonah 4). But when the day came when he could no longer be concerned for the Nineveh’s outcome, and his emotions failed to tug his heartstrings – the day when he stopped caring – he ran away from God’s will (Jonah 1; Jonah 4:1–2).

The healing power of communication should never be underestimated, for issues unresolved leave holes and wounds unmended. Healthy relationships are built on the ability to talk about issues. But when communicating, as James 1:19 says, we must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Where is there passion, emotions are bound to arise. Even Jesus had righteous anger (Mark 11:15). But in the heat of the moment the one who wins the fight, even in losing the war of words, is the one who fights fair without going for the jugular, for this one never has to live with the haunted mind of the words that can never be taken back.

©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2018.

RELATIONSHIPS: The one who completes me…

19.12.2017

Author katiem

It was the morning when he woke up and realized that he did not know the woman whom he slept next to anymore, that it was time for a change. He gently tapped on her shoulder and as she roused from her sheepish demure, he said, “Honey, I don’t know who you are, anymore.” Her heart sank, but there was truth to his words. She replied, “I don’t know who I am, anymore, either.” They exchanged a long, wistful gaze—but they found no semblance of the people with whom they fell in love years ago.

After 10 years, the endless, eclectic sprawl of ups and downs throughout their relationship seemed to fade away, as they became total strangers, sitting in silence, doubting the longevity of their marriage. Once upon a time, they could finish each other’s sentences for hours. Now, even simple conversation felt stale. The answer for all of this was simple: one of them had lost their identity.

The moral to be learned in this story is that you should never lose your identity in a relationship. If you lose sight of yourself, you run the risk of losing someone else. All too often, we are told to find someone who completes us. This message is peddled non-stop in popular culture. But, the truth is, God created you in his image, perfect and complete, separately as male and female (Genesis 1:26–27, 31).

God introduced the partnership when He saw that man alone would not be as fruitful than when he had woman by his side to be his helper. “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

And while the word says that “… a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24), it does not infer that couples ought to lose their identity, or that one person ought to relinquish their power to the other. Rather, the very essence of the statement is emphasised for the couple to move together as a unit, thereby creating the partnership to help each other grow.

Finding someone to complete you means that your relationship will never be complete. Instead, find someone who complements you. You are already complete on your own. Finding someone to complement you will help the both of you work together and grow. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

Searching for someone to complete you gives them power that is not theirs. They did not create you. God already completes you, and that Power is His and His, alone. Yielding power to someone else makes them your puppet-master. They will control your emotions, and heaven forbid, if they leave you, they will leave you feeling fractured. Your identity should be found in God, who created you in His image. Accordingly, your identity should be in the following order:

  1. First and foremost, you are a son/daughter of the Most God; and then
  2.  You are a husband/wife; and then
  3. You are a father/mother; and then
  4. You can become everything else.

If you place your identity in God, you will always find peace in the midst of any storm. Jesus emphasises this sentiment in John 15:5, where He says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me, and I, in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Through Jesus, you will always know your role in any relationship, and have the patience and grace to build a foundation that will never wither within any storm. We are but broken people that cannot complete ourselves, and therefore can never complete another. With our flaws, we complement each other, and that is the foundation by which God has graced us.

©Katie Mliswa and MomentsbyKatie.M, 2017.